100 Things New Zealand isn't allowed to do
by Kezi-chan
Summary: Even the most peaceful nations need to have some rules set in place. -100 Things X is not Allowed To Do list.- No offense intended!


100 Things New Zealand is not allowed to do

1. I will not bring up the Rainbow Warrior around France.

2. It's depressing for both parties.

3. A sheep is not a suitable substitute for me at world meetings.

4. Even if it is a "more accurate" representation of New Zealand.

5. Saying that I have eight dads will get me odd looks, so I should not say it.

6. Even if it is true.

7. I will not yell at Australia to "show us your thong!"

8. Even if thong is their word for jandel.

9. I will not use Maori words to insult others.

10. Especially not ones like Whakapapa.

11. Every knows what I mean, so I shouldn't try denying it.

12. I may not bring my pets to meetings.

13. I have too many sheep.

14. And my tuatara is creepy.

15. Bringing a taniwha to a meeting is just unacceptable.

16. Even if nearly no one can see it.

17. England, Wales and Norway will have heart attacks.

18. I will not convince America that Y2K is going to destroy the world at New Years.

19. He is too dumb to figure out its ten years too late.

20. I do not have an army of mutant sheep at my disposal.

21. So I shouldn't spread this as fact.

22. I will not start an argument with Australia over who owns pavlova.

23. But it does belong to me.

24. I am to ignore Korea when he says otherwise.

25. Making a hangi in the meeting room is stupid and irresponsible.

26. I will not draw Iggy-brows on all the countries while they are sleeping.

27. This goes double for former colonies.

28. I'm not allowed to draw them on myself either.

29. I'm not allowed to do the Haka if I'm going to pull the fingers at the end.

30. Yelling at China to get out of my country is insensitive.

31. Same goes for any other Asian nation.

32. Or non-Asian nation for that matter.

33. I will not push other nations off cliffs or down hills without their permission.

34. Even if they are attached to bungy ropes or in giant hamster balls.

35. I am not allowed to yell "OBJECTION! SHE'S A SLUT!" in world conferences.

36. Especially if Poland is talking.

37. That goes double for Hungary.

38. Saying it to Liechtenstein probably isn't smart either.

39. I'm not allowed to piss of another nation then hide behind America.

40. Or England for that matter.

41. Talking to Russia isn't recommended.

42. I will not shoot Australia's possums.

43. Even if they are pests to me.

44. Sending him crates of them to him is cruel to both the possums and post office.

45. Driving to conferences in a tank is not allowed.

46. Even if it's made from an old tractor and corrugated iron, it's still a tank.

47. My name is not "The Hiphopopotamus"

48. Nor is it "The Rhymnocerous"

49. I shall not try to convince people otherwise.

50. When I am told to act my age, they mean my actual age.

51. It is not an excuse to act like a preppy 15 year old girl.

52. Even if Poland is totally into it.

53. I will not use the term "can't handle the jandel" in meetings.

54. "Ranga" "cabbage" and "scoody" are also unacceptable.

55. Antarctica's penguin is not a bowling pin.

56. Nor is Australia's koala a ball.

57. I should know by now that France will flirt with ANYONE regardless of anything.

58. Hungary is a bad example and I should not hang around her.

59. Despite how interesting her pictures look.

60. I should not try to convince England that my accent is cool.

61. When Spain is singing "Feliz Navidad", it is offensive to sing along with "Police stole my car."

62. Even if he just thinks I'm mucking up the words.

63. I will refrain from using 'sweet as' 'mean as' and the like, as they confuse the countries that don't normally speak English.

64. I will not cut my hair even shorter.

65. Because England maintains his beliefs and would have a heart attack.

66. Telling America that rugby is better than football will result in a fight.

67. I will not call England and America in the middle of winter to 'complain' about how hot it is.

68. Nor will I do this to Russia.

69. At any time of the year.

70. Not all of the world's disputes can be solved by rugby.

71. No matter how epic that would be.

72. Arguing with Korea over the origins of things is pointless.

73. Especially if it turns out I'm wrong.

74. Inviting countries to visit the Bay of Plenty is bad wording.

75. Especially when said to France.

76. Number 8 wire is not always the answer.

77. I will not talk about kiwifruit in front of China.

78. Especially about how great they taste here.

79. Saving the world is not a 'fun afternoon activity'.

80. No matter how popular that song is.

81. Or how loud I can sing it.

82. Poking my tongue out at France is not a wise thing to do.

83. Sending Japan a cute plush whale that says 'Please don't eat me!' when squeezed in culturally insensitive.

84. I am not allowed to compare countries to Hairy Maclary Characters.

85. Especially to their faces.

86. Especially if I dub Russia as "Hercules Morse, as big as a horse".

87. Just because "Gilbert" is a brand of rugby ball, doesn't mean I have the right to kick Prussia in the head whenever I feel like it.

88. I will not talk like Paul Henry in meetings.

89. I will not make America freak out by telling him I've joined the space race.

90. He forgets he won years ago.

91. And it was a tiny rocket, it doesn't count.

92. I will not talk to people specifically because I like their accent.

93. ESPECIALLY if I'm just gonna giggle immaturely.

94. Other nations will get confused if I call them "bro" or "cuzzie."

95. This means I _shouldn't_ do this.

96. I will not go tramping somewhere remote just because I don't want to deal with something.

97. I will not dump buckets of gunge on people's heads.

98. I will not sing the song 'Vampires' in front of Romania.

99. And especially not DIRECTED at Romania.

100. And finally, I will not act like a back talking, slang speaking, unruly, teenager JAFA bush Maori in general.

I promise to abide by thes-

Screw this, I'm gonna go beat up Aussie.

-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-NZ-

A/N: Finally uploaded this here! It's been on my dA account for a while, but now that there's actually a New Zealand character category here I was reminded to put it up. :D

If you want to ask about any of them, go ahead, but if you're a Kiwi you should get them. XD


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